Mary Todd Lincoln Biography
Abraham Lincoln's Wife Lived through Triumph and Tragedy
Mary Todd Lincoln’s character has been the subject of much controversy of the years... Usually, she is presented as a jealous, overbearing woman, someone who made her husband’s life miserable. Some have even claimed she was mentally ill, at least towards the latter years of the Lincoln marriage. Yet the evidence shows that Abraham and Mary Lincoln must have truly cared for one another. During the White House years Lincoln’s male secretaries, John Nickolay and John Hay, called her the “hellcat.” But there was another side to Mary, too. She was educated, refined, and had a genuine appreciation of her husband’s great gifts
Mary Todd’s Childhood and Youth
Mary Todd was born on December 13, 1818, daughter of Robert Smith Todd, a prominent banker. The Todds lived in Louisville, Kentucky, and were among the city’s social elite. Mary had a childhood of comfort and wealth, with household slaves catering to her every wish. But her mother Elizabeth died when she was seven, the first of a series of tragedies that would plague her life and ultimately unhinge her.
Todd was an educated woman for her time, and spoke French fluently. It was said that as a young girl she declared she would marry a president of the United States. It was dismissed as childish prattle, but her youthful prediction would come true.
The Marriage with Abraham Lincoln
She met Abraham Lincoln while on a trip to visit her sister Elizabeth in Springfield, Illinois. Lincoln was a talented young lawyer of 33, but to the social snobs of the city his “backwoods” origins made him seem uncouth. Mary was undeterred; she seemed to sense a greatness in him before others did. Once, when she spoke of famed Senator Stephen A. Douglas, she commented “Douglas is a little, little giant compared to my tall Kentuckian!” They married in 1842.
The couple eventually had four children, all boys. The first son was Robert, who was born in 1842. Her eldest seemed aloof and businesslike all his life. The second child, Edward (“Eddie”) died when he was about four years of age. William Wallace Lincoln, nicknamed “Willie,” was much like his father. The lad was outgoing, and loved to read. The youngest child, Thomas “Tad” Lincoln, had a cleft palate and possible hair lip. He was sweet but mischievous.
Mary became known for her outbursts of almost irrational temper. She could be shrewish, and Lincoln usually just left the house to avoid a confrontation. Yet there is another side to the story. Her mother’s sudden death left Mary with a permanent emotional scar, and a fear of abandonment. She suffered from torturing migraine headaches, and was left alone for long periods when Lincoln was “riding the circuit” attending trials as a lawyer. And Lincoln’s own behavior could be trying—he had bouts of depression, which he called “the hypo.”
But Lincoln and Mary had a lot in common, too. In the early years they were fierce partisans of the Whig party. Both were good parents, and didn’t believe in the harsh discipline of children. And they had a bond of real affection; Mary had a deep fear of thunder and lighting. If there was a thunderstorm, Lincoln would rush home to comfort her.
Mary Todd Lincoln in the White House
When Lincoln was elected president in 1860, Mary achieved her goal. She had married one of the nation’s chief executives. But what should have been the happiest days of her life quickly turned to tragedy.
She still was unstable, and went on shopping sprees that cost thousands of dollars. But when her son “Willie” died of typhoid in 1862, her whole world collapsed. Mary turned to spiritualism, and held séances in the White House. As time went on, she insisted that Willie “visited” her at night. But when Abraham Lincoln was assassinated at Ford’s Theater in 1865, she was inconsolable. The death of “Taddie” in 1871 further removed her from reality.
Mary started to act and talk strangely. At one point, she claimed an “Indian was removing the bones from my face.” Strange fantasies developed, as when she was convinced she was being poisoned, and that a mysterious “wandering Jew” had stolen her pocketbook. She might have been bipolar, or suffered some other kind of mental illness. Certainly, the constant grief, and almost unbroken chain of tragedies, all took their toll on her mind.
Mary Todd Lincoln’s Last Years
She was briefly institutionalized by her so Robert in 1875. Mary ended her days at the home of her older sister, Elizabeth Edwards, in Springfield Illinois. Ironically, it was the same house where she had married Abraham some 40 years before. Mary Todd Lincoln, the tragic First Lady, died on July 16, 1882, aged 63 years.
Sources:
Philip B. Kunhardt, Jr, Philip B. Kunhardt III, and Peter W. Kunhardt, Lincoln: An Illustrated Biography (Portland House: 1992)
Jean H. Baker, Mary Lincoln: A Biography (Norton, 1987)
Mary Todd Lincoln about 1846
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